What is love?
by Hopefullydepressed
Summary: Maya asks Riley about love's meaning. Through their conversation Maya rethinks her relationship and it's meaning..


**When the writers decided to tell that Maya never loved Lucas, they broke my heart. Every time I watch the campfire scene all I could see is Maya's true feelings. She care about him she was afraid of him. It wasn't that she didn't believe in him. She just was to afraid that he might get hurt. And that scene when Lucas grabbed her face , it melted my heart. Maya's voice when she said that if he would get hurt she wouldn't know what she would have done. Don't lie to me that she haven't liked him. Aaaargh. Those two ,even if they are not cannon, are my otp.**

"What is love?" Maya found hetself asking her friend who always thougt highly of love. Riley always dreamt about true love and she was always obsessed with fairy tales. Maya never really knew what love is . She grew up in a family that lacked love, her parents barely could stay in the same room without arguing. After a while his dad left and Maya went through her first heartbreak. She was so young when her father left ripping a part of her soul ,destroying th small hope from inside of her. Her mom was so devastated that she buried herself in work taking more shift than she needed . Maya was lonely, growing up by herself and blaming herself all along. She really hated love, because love didn't kept her family close, love wasn't enough.

Riley looked confused at her friend, she was trying to understand from were that question came, but mostly searching inside of her for an answer. She had a loving family and the brunette grew up surrounded by love.

„Love? Huh. Hard question."

„You love everyone and everything, it must be easier for you to answer." Maya was always impressed by her friend's capacity to love.

„Love is a strong feeling that lives inside of all of us. In my opinion everyone is capable of love. You just know because you feel it deep in your heart or even deeper , you feel it with your soul."

 _Maya and Lucas were walking in the park , holding hands. They haven't spoke to each other for a while, Lucas being contented to just be in her company and Maya was freaking out by a soft feel she had in her heart every time she was around her cowboy. They been dating for a while and Maya tried to avoid every conversation about feelings, because she was to scared by the unknown feel in her chest. They got to a less crowded area and both of them gazed at the sun going down. Lucas touched her shoulder and turned her around to face him, she was so much shorter that she was looking up at his face. A strand of hair was in her eyes and Lucas gently put it behind her ears._

„ _I love you, Shortie." Maya panicked hearing those words, the one she feared the most . He saw in her eyes that she was trying to back off. She took a small step back shaking her head from left to right._

„ _Don't! You don't have to say nothing , if you are not ready. I had those words on my heart for a while and I had to tell you. I love you." Maya hugged him , her head resting on his chest and she listened his heart beating fast. She couldn't tell those words because she still didn't understood their meaning. But there was this feeling in her chest warming her up from inside ._

Maya watched her friend with an indecipherable look on her face, still processing the information. Does she understand the feeling Riley just explained her? Did she went through that? Does she got any chance to do right all the wrong she did? Can he forgive her? Many questions raced in her mind , but Maya was still afraid and unsure.

„How do I know it's love what I feel and not other, you know feelings? Riley throught about her friend's questions and understood that this are questions that are bothering her.

„Maybe you don't know at first. You say it's just attraction or you are just nervous but in time those feelings are still. And you crave for that person's presence, you are searching for him in a crowd and when you met his gaze you feel sparkles.

„Isn't this an idealized view of love?"

„You asked me. This is my view, Peaches."

 _Maya hurried to met her boyfriend in the mall. She was shopping when he called her and said that he is nearby and they should met near the jewelry shop. She just bought a new red dress and all she could think about was ,what Lucas would think about it. She knew that he loves the way that the red color suits her. And all she could think about was him, yet again. It happened a lot lately that small or insignificant things would lead her mind to Lucas. She wasn't really happy about that. They weren't dating for that long and he managed to crawl under her skin. Maya hurried to their meeting point searching for him in the crowd her gaze slowly drifting from face to face, searching for the familiar grass green eyes. When her gaze crashed in his she felt electricity going through her body and, she blushed instantly seeing the intensity of his gaze on her. Maya ran to him and jumped in his arms . Lucas lifted her and made a spin with her . With her still up ,he planted a long kiss on her lips and some people ,who had seen the scene they made, applauded them. It was like they met after a long time separated not just a day. Maya's heart beat fast and she had a soft smile on her face , a smile that reached her eyes too. The blonde was rarely this happy, but Lucas had a way to better her day just by smiling at her._

Maya was lost in her thoughts for some long seconds, trying to understand herself or she was just trying to find good way to lie to herself ,that she wasn't in fact in love. Love was dangerous. Her dad loved her mom but still hurted and left her . Love isn't eternal as they are making it to seem. She shouldn't trust any similar feelings. But she left Lucas in ,now she cant live with or without him. Why did she give him a chance?

„ _Maya, right?" The new student from Texas asked the blonde. She raised a brow and planted a superior look on her face ,planning to scare of the cowboy._

„ _Yeah, Huckleberry, Maya Hart."_

„ _Lucas." He corrected the blonde beauty._

„ _Whatever." She watched his expression shifting from determination to confusion. Trying to comprehend Maya's behavior. Almost every girl tried to flirt with the new student or at least to speak with him or to be nice to him . One girl even offered herself to show him where is the bathroom. The New York hospitality was weird in Lucas's opinion._

„ _So ,Maya, I was thinking...um ... if you could show me around... I heard you know New York like your palm or something." Lucas said nervously. Maya was different than the other girls, she had that confident way to speak and walk, but in the same time she seemed unaware of her beauty. She was cynical and sarcastic, her jokes could be mean. Lucas heard a lot about her, those girls were very eager to speak to him so he used that in his benefit to fish some information._

„ _Are you inviting me on a date Ranger Rick?"_

„ _You could say that."_

„ _No." This was the first time he was refused. He felt embarrassed but honestly more intrigued. People were saying that she was ice cold or frigid and he took it as a challenge. It was more than that, he liked her way to be and because her unique way to be he felt attracted to Maya. And it was now or never._

„ _Please. You are the only girl who didn't jump on me, I want a comfortable city tour, not one full of flirt." He smiled at her in a nervous , goofy way and Maya wanted to send him somewhere but she felt sorry for him. Being the new guy was hard, and a lot of girls assaulting him wasn't comfortable, just awkward. Plus Maya thought thay he was a cute dork._

„ _Fine. But it's not a romantic date. showing you around and you have to buy me a dessert."_

„ _Deal."_

She didn't thought that they were have so much in common or that the kind Lucas was once a delinquent with short temper. In time she got to know him and their non-romantic dates transformed in romantic ones.

„Riles, how do you know that _he's_ the one? How did you knew that you fell for Farkle?"

„You can't be ever sure that somebody's the one. But Maya you need to let yourself hope. But when two people put the other's need in front of their's or when all you want is the other to be safe , it .means that they care deeply about each other."

„I don't get it."

„You can never be sure, if one guy is the one. That doesn't mean you can't love someone deeply who isn't your one. You learn from your relationships. Let yourself love and let yourself hope. Is this about Lucas? He loves you Maya, isn't that enough for now?"

„Isn't about him. Is about me."

„Maya, live your life with love, hope , fun and never look back." Riley hugged her friend trying to ease all the pain she held inside for so long. „Love is there for you too." Maya said nothing, doubting it. There weren't many people to care about her. Her dad left her, Josh ran away from her , not even giving her a chance. She had just a few friends, mostly Riley. Why would it be different with Lucas. She is seventeen and never loved, never let herself and no one tried to get to her.

 _Lucas invited Maya to Texas, she didn't knew that he planned to ask her to be a couple there. So Maya packed up her things and choose some outfits that looked proper for Texas. It promised to be a great week and it was until Lucas signed up to ride Tombstone the bull. At the beginning Maya thought that it will be fun but when she saw the beast ,her face fell._

„ _I don't want you anywhere near that bull"_

„ _That makes two of us."_

„ _I want you to take off that outfit, and I wanna get outta here." He watched her friend confused by her reaction. He always thought that she likes his Texas, strong and dangerous self._

„ _Maya."_

„ _I saw the bull. I don't think the bull knows that this supposed to be fun." Lucas even in his fear was determined to ride that bull and wanted to demonstrate to Maya that he can do this. The blonde when saw that he still want to do it stepped in front of him to give him an ultimatum. „If you do this I'll never speak to you again."_

„ _Maya" said Lucas softly but the determination was painted all over his face._

„ _I'll never speak to you again ." she said and left Lucas standing there in shock._

„ _What!?"_

 _Maya went further, in a place from where she could watch him from distance. She couldn't be there but neither could she not watch. Her heart was beating fast the fear flowing through her veins. Infinite_ what ifs _racing in her mind. She watched as he bravely conquered the bull , her heart almost stoped when he fell of got up fast and with a smirk on his face looked around , he was searching for something or someone._

 _Later Maya sat on his porch looking at the stars , wondering why she got that scared because of him. But all she could think was how he could die on that stupid man-cow .Lucas sat next to her looked at Maya's face expectantly, waiting for answers._

„ _Are you serious on not speaking to me?"_

„ _You could have gotten hurt on that stupid bull." she said pasionately. „What do you think you getting hurt would have done to the people who..."_

„ _Care about me?" Lucas completed softly._

„ _Can we just let this go?"_

„ _I don't want to let it go. Maya speak with me , please."_

„ _Let me alone ,Huckleberry"_

„ _Maya take this serious." Lucas got up and walked around nervously. Maya got up too and nervously tried to walk away from him, because she was afraid of this feelings. The boy got close to her heart lately. He was a good friend , good listener, good in general._

„ _Can we just enjoy the night, look at the stars."_

„ _Maya, I like you. Do you like me? Is there any chance to like me too."_

„ _No" She said averting her gaze. It was impossible for her to watch him, fearing that her eyes would gave up her inside turmoil._

„ _Then why can't you look in my eyes."_

„ _Because I am still pissed you. You haven't listened to me. And I am always right Huckleberry." He went in front of her stopping when there was just one step separating them. „Maya."_

„ _Leave me Huckleberry." she tried to continue to yell at him but Lucas grabbed her face looked in her eyes. When she saw his intense expression, she became shocked. He watched her eyes and his gaze slowly drifted to her lips. He closed the distance between them planting a kiss on her they separated Maya looked at him., heart racing ,emotions running on her face._

„ _Why did you did that?"_

„ _I like you Maya Hart. And I wanna be more than just your friend."_

„Maybe I know what love is. Maybe I loved but a screwed up everything."

„Lucas loves you speak to him, Peaches."

„My Huckleberry. He probably will never forgive me."

 _But Lucas telling her, for the first time, that he loves her was more than she could bear._

„ _Lucas I...I don't think this will work. I don't love you." She lied between her teeths. Maya knew she acted cowardly but she just couldn't go down that road and Lucas was hurt by her words._

„ _Maya..."_

„ _Goodbye, Lucas. I don't want to see you anymore." She cut him leaving him alone , just walking and walking and never looking back. The park ended ,she was between the buildings when she dared to look back. Hoping and being afraid at the same time that Lucas came after her. But he didn't . Maya didn't knew when she felt this lonely before._

„I destroyed everything, Riley . He made me happy and I'm sure that I love him and now it's to late." Riley hugged her friend who started to cry ,shoulders shuddering , loud sobs leaving her lips."

„Go find ,Lucas and tell him how much you love him."

„I'll do it, I'll tell him." she wiped some tears off of her cheeks and forced a smile. All she neede was to guess where Lucas was. It was Friday so she knew that Lucas every Friday volunteered at the animal shelter. She needed to find him, all of her body craving for him closeness her soul craving for his forgiveness. _Could he forgive me?_ She ran to a taxi giving her the information to where she needed to be. All the way there her heart was beating fast because she was gambling with her soul.

Maya got to the shelter and tried to find Lucas, she hasn't any luck. She saw a young man treating an injured puppy. „Hey, you." Maya yelled to that person. „Do you know Lucas, Lucas Friar?"

„Tall , blonde , green eyes?" the person asked without looking up. „He just left."

„No. No! Nooo!"

„What? Is there any problem ?"

„Everything is fine." Said Maya while leaving . She couldn't believe her luck when in front of the building she saw Lucas holding a kitten.

„Lucaas?" The blonde beauty yelled fearing that he might leave before she could get to him.

„Maya?" Lucas was confused, the last time he spoke to Maya she told him that doesn't want to have anything with him. After that she ignkred his calls text messages, everything and avoided him.

„Lucas, we have to talk. Is just, i am so sorry could you forgive me?" She asked with her whole body shaking from the restrained tears. „I love you." she said with a first tear flowing down her cheek. „I know what love really is, because of you. You taught me what love is. With you my heart beats fast, with you I am happy, with you I am starting to hope. I know I was horrible, but I love you."

„Maya...I love you. I told you and I will tell you as long as I can but I love you." She pulled her close and planted a kis on her head. He hugged her close , wiping her tears. „I love you Maya."

„Lucas...I love you. I am sorry."

„You don't have to be sorry. You weren't ready , I felt it and I still pushed. I an glad you are ready know." Maya looked at the little blonde kitten between them.

„Who's your buddy?"

„She reminded me of you. I had to take it. A reckless courageous little buddy. Even when it was hurt , it still walked still with a feline confidence."


End file.
